I have a propensity for rushing headlong into ludicrous undertakings. I will admit that. I get oddly specific ideas in my head; romanticize the absolute shit out of them; and then go careening off wildly in an attempt to make them happen.Hoarse Whisperings is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Just got around to reading this and am I glad I did. I laughed out loud sitting at my desk at work and am so glad no one else was here to hear me 🤣🤣. Thanks for starting the long week off on a happy note. We need those now more than ever.
OM Gaawwd, I'm weeping from laughter, Mike.
I'm certain you realize we All have those impulsive times that are double whammied with procrastination. Reminds me of the Christmas Eve Day I decided to gift loved ones with hand sewn wreaths and oversized ( think body size) lounge cushions. Must add, I do not sew and failed the Home Ec. machine sewing class, but that's another story.
It took me the whole day to complete to my level of acceptability (groan) then had to figure out wrapping them followed by packing car and driving to my parent's home.
It was dark, I was late arriving.
I laugh now as, years later I found the above items logged in closets,attics,and basements.
We know we are loved when our family doesn't throw things away because of our wild efforts to give them extra Joy !
Damn. I feel like I’ve watched this movie. 😬
Is this one of those "Tell me you have ADHD without telling me you have ADHD" things? And it sounds a lot like me, and reminded me of the time I literally set my hair on fire trying to whip up a pan of mangoes flambé in the pop-up kitchen I had improvised in my micro Tokyo apartment when I lived there and the blowtorch part worked way better than ever expected.
I’m sure it was ADHD in overdrive, frustrating, energy zapping, manic, frantic & delicious in the end. However, I was laughing so hard and couldn’t stop thinking about Stuart McLean & ‘Dave Cooks the Turkey’!
You described me perfectly......and you have my condolences. It's a hell of a way to live.....husband always says the inside of my head must be frightening.
Can relate: mine? Making CREPES for FORTY COWORKERS. FORTY!!!
Seafood!! Fruit!! Vegetable!! CREPES!! I was 22 at the time and yes, I had prepared crepes for my boyfriend. But FORTY???!!!!
Utter hare-brained madness.
That said? They were delicious!!
Oh do I get this.... mine was a brussels sprouts side dish for Thanksgiving that required SEPARATING THE LEAVES from two pounds of sprouts. The side dish took more effort than the entire rest of the meal. Also: it was a big hit. I told everyone to enjoy it because I was never doing that sh*t again.
If you don't quite get Part II posted on time, I'm sure we'll all understand why.
Loved this so much! Not relatable for me, as I am lazy AF, but have many friends who suffer such delusions. One insisted on making her family new Christmas stockings every year and was always up all night on Xmas Eve, swearing, crying and sometimes bleeding to get it done...
That’s so awesome!
You have just described how at least 50% of my kitchen has come into being...small appliances, cookware, tableware, spices...you name it. The only other part of my life that is affected by this malady is my penchant for buying travel books. When I finally downsize (I do so every few years) then I get to start in again.
Holy crap, Imaginary Mike expended about as much mental energy on that Xmas breakfast as I do in a whole year. Very funny and self-ironic read!
The ADHD super power at work right there. My kid baked macarons last night. Why? Well because they were calling his name and he must get them perfect. Did he have a laundry list of other chores to do? Of course! But the macarons won and my kitchen is a disaster 🤦🏼♀️😂 I bet that oatmeal was damn good!
Mike, you write so vividly that I can picture myself in that same Williams-Sonoma on Christmas Eve. I would have gladly lent you my ramekins of various sizes, or "situational cookware", as you so aptly described it. For me, it was attempting Beef Wellington as a newlywed for both sets of parents, and Cherries Jubilee, both for the first time. I had beginner's luck with the Beef Wellington, but nearly sent everyone into a diabetic coma by using corn syrup rather than cornstarch for the Cherries Jubilee. Thanks for the laughs when I need them the most.
It’s clear that many of us identify with this. I hope that makes you feel less alone ;-) What I’ve learned (in the 15 years longer I’ve spent on the planet than you have) is to stop doing that and make do with what I’ve got.
This was warm, funny, a little sad and really well told. I’m looking forward to part two! I, too, have missed reading you.